Day 26 – I Didn’t Help

What if all that coaching we did together ended up being useless?  What if I didn’t help?

 

Met with a prospect today and we talked for a long time, it felt like there were some breakthroughs, but what if I didn’t help?  What if for all the good I think I’m doing the client ends up staying right where they were, or worse, going backwards?  What if they were polite during our conversation but, in reality, found no value in our session?

Where does this fear come from?

Unlike my previouse life as a carpenter, I am not able in this profession to step back at the end of a day and look at the work I have done.  There is something inherently intangable about coaching.  The only way I can know that I am effective is through the actions and reactions of my clients.  If their lives do not improve after our work together, doesn’t that mean I am not a good coach?

Is it true?

No, it’s not.  The value in my work is not based on the performance of my client, that is out of my control.  My job is to uncover the opportunity, show them their own power, help them see how to use it, and support them through the process.  Just as John Wooden would not have been able to make a baskeball player great if that player refused to step on the court, I cannot make my clients take the necessary actions to reach their goals.

What could be just as true and would serve me?

As Michael Niel says in his book Supercoach, even if a man left the office each night, walked up to a lamp post and talked to it about all his dreams, his problems and everything else in his life, that alone would be helpful.  The fact that I show up, that I dedicate myself fully to my client and their world, before, during, and after our time together, is at least a bit more than what a lampost would do.  I help people open doors to become and achieve whatever they want, whether or not they step through is up to them.